The Shifting Mirage called Food in South Beach

In the past decade, it's become a tradition for our family to trek down to South Beach (Miami) at least once a year, sometimes even twice (if we're lucky and Carl is in a good mood). I say trek, because after hauling two weeks worth of clothes for little one -you need 12 days worth of clothes for 6 days, believe me- her car seat and her stroller on/off the plane, I feel like I've climbed Mount Everest. Forget about my luggage, it's the least of my worries. My carry on bag weighs at least 100 lbs and is crammed with a hodge-podge of snacks (nuts, cheese and crackers,etc) coloring books, crayons and games and various articles of clothing. I bring magazines and Christian Science Monitors so I can catch up on fashion and foreign affairs but never get to read a thing. Big Daughter packs separately. She is fastidious and could never tolerate a communal suitcase. We officially retired little one's stroller last fall but brought it out of retirement for the trip to South Beach, because we always do a lot of walking. South Beach runs from 1st/Ocean to 17th/Lincoln road and our family favors the area near the lower-numbered streets. At this point in her charmed existence, little one believes that her legs are not yet meant for walking. Rather than vainly propose the concept of walking, it's easier to offer her the stroller. This means that one out of every passerby motions at her feet, which dangle out of the stroller and begin dragging on the ground. For the past two visits, we've stayed at the elegant, Art Deco-style Astor Hotel (10th/Washington. We can generally be found at the beach or pool around 1st/Ocean. Over the years, Big Daughter, Carl and I have tracked the ascendance of South Beach from slightly gritty beach town to hip, shining star i.e. E. Village meets Madison Avenue at Ocean Drive. It's always fun to observe the residents and tourists meandering down the street in a style particular to South Beach i.e. stylish but bare with great sunglasses and jewelry. Eating in South Beach is also a unique experience; each year the place you remember liking a lot is closed, replaced by something else. Restaurants in South Beach are a mirage. Beckoning from afar, they generally disappear into a morass of overpriced food and convoluted service. To combat this and adjust to our beach schedule, we devised an eating plan which is comprised of an early breakfast (often the price of a good lunch or bargain dinner in NYC), no lunch and then dinner in big, bright lights (figuratively speaking) because after a day of sun/swimming, we're hungry. When Carl is with us, we have the luxury of a rental car. The car pays for itself in the trip to/from South Beach from Fort Lauderdale airport and allows me to map out exotic food adventures in various Miami neighborhoods for a better culinary experience overall. Last year, I created a food itinerary indicating breakfast and dinner choices for each day of the trip. Changes were allowed only after serious debate, weather considerations or the occurrence of sunburn. Big Daughter was a high school senior then, and on that trip she brought two friends - the Devster (her best friend) and Will -a classmate who joined us for a few days after visiting Florida colleges. Will's mother couldn't believe we a) wanted him on the trip and b)loved him after it was over. Also along for the duration was the Big N, big daughter's dad. The Big N was in from Belgrade and in the spirit of roughing it, stayed at the spartan hostel (in a communal room, yikes)a block from the Hotel Augustine. The Hotel Augustine was a nice hotel save for the manager, who thought we were sneaking the Big N in the room with Big Daughter and friends, natch. During that trip, we had some great food adventures. After a day at the beach, everyone would shower and meet outside of the hotel. Off we'd go, Carl at the wheel of the rental car, me holding my handwritten (and often confusing directions). Big N smoking furiously and commenting on the capitalism of Americans and Will riding shotgun in the back, staunchly defending Carl. In the back seat, little one was watched over by the Devster and Big Daughter with mixed results. The culinary highlights of last year's visit were Garcia's Fish Market, (located in downtown Miami directly over the causeway from South Beach), Guayacan (a Nicaraguan restaurant located in Little Havana) and Monty's (located on the edge of South Beach). Garcia's is one of our absolute favorite places to eat in Miami. It's a real down-home fish market that serves all manner of fresh-caught fish and really good conch hush puppies. Whenever we go there, it rains. It's exciting to sit out on the back porch and watch the big rain drops plop into the canal while a slightly chilly wind dampens us while eating. Maine in Miami. Eating at Guayacan was pretty much what you imagined it would be like to be in Nicaragua and eat amazing food. Monty's is a divey fish place on the bay. They have a raw bar with raw clams and mussels as well as boiled shrimp (we peeled off the shells) and all manner of deep-fried fish along with hamburgers etc. Lots of good old boys (and girls) like to go there to drink so we usually go early for dinner. For our most recent trip to South Beach last week, Big Daughter, little one and I spent six great days in South Beach. My challenge was to map out good food in South Beach proper (something that I hadn't done before). This time it was just us girls. At the last minute, Carl found the lure of college basketball too great to resist. In the spirit of harmony, we didn't protest and I'm happy to report it was a win-win for all involved. We loved South Beach and Carl loved being solo in NYC. I didn't mind pool duty with little one. During this recent visit, breakfast wasn't a problem. Little one and I would generally wake up around 7 a.m., get the newspapers at LeeAnns Pharmacy across the street, pick up a coffee for Big Sister at the French patisserie on Washington and then head out again for a proper breakfast. Big Sister always required coffee before her obligatory gym visit to Crunch. The first morning, little one and I ate breakfast at Joley, the restaurant in the Astor Hotel but that didn't work too well. The water for tea was infused with a coffee taste and the manager was more than grouchy which gave me indigestion. Apparently, Joley had just inaugurated breakfast service that morning and it was enough to dissuade us from repeating the experience for the duration of our trip. Because we were upgraded from a Junior Suite to a Presidential Suite gratis, I couldn't bring myself to tell Corey (the amazing, sweetheart of a manager at the Astor) the truth about breakfast. The next morning, little one and I upheld family tradition and ate breakfast at The Tides, a very fancy (newly-renovated yet again) hotel on Ocean Drive. It's a tradition for us to eat breakfast, once per South Beach visit, at The Tides. This time around, their tea water also tasted like coffee. Carl, I'm pleased to report, has gamely gone along to breakfast at The Tides on past visits. He finds it interesting to observe his fellow breakfast eaters. In past visits, we've encountered a "regular" who looks homeless, but staff treats her like royalty. I wonder who she really is? Little one and I didn't see her this visit. Anyway, as is always the case at The Tides, the fruit plate was phenomenal. It arrived with a small, hollowed-out papaya packed with blueberries, strawberries and raspberries along with generous servings of sliced kiwi, pineapple and one plum. Little one kept referring to the kiwi as celery but ate it all nonetheless. The staff couldn't have been sweeter. Nothing beats sitting in early morning sunshine on the swanky terrace of The Tides and gazing at the ocean. It just screams "ahh vacation." The waiter invited us to visit the newly-renovated lobby and as we checked it out, little one said "this is too fancy mommy." As we wandered about, I worried that one of the 2000 turtle shells affixed to the walls of the dining room might fall on my head. There was so much stuff in the lobby seating area, I thought we might get lost especially among the large piles of dried white driftwood artfully stacked around. After that experience, I opted for a few mornings of fruit tarts from the Patisserie and then ventured out again to the Maison d'Azur at The Anglers Boutique Resort (5th/Washington) for Sunday Breakfast. $104.96 later, I decided they too couldn't cut the tea thing, it wasn't served in a teapot and there were tea bags! The hot chocolate was good though, it was unsweetened and made with real Valhrona chocolate and had a creamy finish. Big daughter and a visiting pal opted for omelets and TWO orders of slab bacon (at $7/pop) and little one ordered two eggs over easy with potatoes. I got the traditional Soupe de Poisson with little toasts and Rouille (saffron aioli sauce), in an effort to remain restrained. I truly love this soup (after having it years ago in the South of France) and this one didn't disappoint. It was a good breakfast made better by the fact that the clouds blew away while we were eating and a clear blue sky emerged. The best breakfast was at the Hotel Victor on our last day in South Beach. I was looking for their little tea/coffee cafe (which I discovered last year) but it had closed. The manager was very sweet and hallelujah, they had tea leaves from the NYC-based T salon. Little one and I shared a continental breakfast (which was a basket of pretty yummy pastries, especially the chocolate bread) and two miniature fruit plates (raspberries, slice of honeydew, watermelon and pineapple) drizzled with a mango sauce. Little one was not enthused about the mango sauce, she pronounced it "weird". The waitress (who was a true sweetheart) kindly brought her another mini fruit plate sans the mango sauce. We had lunch only once. Our first day, we stopped at Lario's on Ocean Drive, after a few hours at the beach. Eating at Lario's is primarily about observing the "scene" of Ocean Drive. Considering the abundance of seriously over-priced tourist traps, Lario's is ok. They have very good strawberry mojitos (the only alcohol imbibed this trip) and yes, Big Daughter did get a few sips. In South Beach, the restaurants on Ocean Drive are packed side-by-side on the sidewalks in front of the various hotels. There is a little path to traverse amongst the tables and it's great for people-watching. At some restaurants, there are platters of food for passerby's to examine (usually a good reason not to eat there). Noteworthy places for breakfast/brunch are: The Front Porch, The News Cafe and the Pelican Cafe (which is affiliated with the Pelican Hotel.) None of them display food outside the restaurant. I prefer breakfast early- between 8-9 a.m. At this time, Ocean Drive is empty and blessedly quiet (hence our affection for Washington Street). There's a special early-morning vibe and the blue green ocean dominates, as it should. Besides the tea at Hotel Victor, I had one other truly amazing cup of tea during the visit, at Hakim's Turkish Restaurant(Alton Road and 10th Street). To get there, we just turned right and walked down 10th street for 10 minutes through quiet, residential neighborhoods with well-maintained art deco buildings. (We'd headed that way last year to Taste Bakery, which Carl loved.) Anyway, during dinner, Hakim, the owner, brought me the black tea leaves to smell (straight from the mountains of Turkey where he said he really did grow up) and a tin of Turkish Earl Grey. He then made me a heavily diluted version of his tea. As he predicted, the tea was a real delight. Hakim warned me the tea would "reset my clock." In a gentle way it did. (When I got back to NYC, Elspeth at Podunk was able to recreate the taste for me by mixing Russian Caravan and some Earl Grey.) Anyway, the food at Hakim's was terrific. Big Daughter and I shared an appetizer plate of cacik (the yogurt with garlic), eggplant dip, cous cous, hummus and grape leaves. It was all tremendously fresh. I ordered spinach pie. I couldn't finish it, so ate it for breakfast the next morning. Big Daughter ate the mixed grill with lamb, Turkish sausage, chicken and beef. Little one napped until dinner was over. We brought home a delicious chicken noodle soup with sweet potatoes added to the chicken and carrots. She ate all of it. Hakim was a decent and thoughtful man who wished every customer a genuine good night at the end of their meal. It was nice to eat at a place frequented by "real" people as well. Our first night in South Beach, we had dinner at Frateli Bufala (5th/Washington) an Italian restaurant specializing in Pizza Napolentano. We walked by it frequently last year but never ate there. The portions were quite generous. Little one had a thin crust plain cheese pizza. It was excellent and enough for two very hungry people (so that was lunch the next day). My salad was a bit wilty although the grilled eggplant was very fresh. Big daughter ordered pasta that came in a Parmesan cheese crust. It was a bit over the top. There were two other highlights for dinner. One was DAvid's Cafe, an old favorite for Cuban food. It's located off Lincoln Road on Meridian. They also have a cafe in South Beach. David's Cafe is not too far from the Ice Box Cafe, which has really yummy cakes. Unfortunately, Oprah spread the word on her television show and it's painted on their window (Oprah's best or something). Since then I find it unnerving to visit the Ice Box Cafe. I always think a marching band should strike up a tune or something. David's Cafe on Lincoln Road, is an unpretentious, comfortable restaurant that serves up generous portions of Cuban food. The appetizer platter is comprised of fried yucca, plantain chips, and croquettes, all of which are quite filling. Little one opted for chicken soup and Big Daughter ordered the pork chops. Her pal ordered the Churrasca steak which arrived with sublime mashed potatoes. The other dinner meal highlight was at Chalan's on the Beach (16th Street/Washington. Chalan's serves Peruvian food but the thing to get is the batidos, or fruit shakes. I ordered one made with blackberries in a frozen milk base and it was sublime (and enough for dinner). I knew Big Daughter would be disappointed in her seafood platter because it was deep fried (even the mussel shells). I ordered Bistec with Onions and simply switched with her. After drinking the batido, I didn't need anything else. Little one had chicken noodle soup and finished every drop. Next visit to South Beach, I think I'll just drink shakes at Chalan's every day and skip the food.