The Ties that bind

Friday evening, Big Daughter flew off to Belgrade for a three week visit with her father. Given our recent changes, little one and Carl both took it hard. We have established a smooth routine between our two homes. It's possible that Big Daughter's trip kicked up the realization of the change. She had a hard time at JFK on Friday night. Luckily, she was accompanied by her dog, Gigi. Little one asked why we didn't go to Belgrade as well. Big Daughter's absence hit me on Sunday. It was a wrenching feeling. I kept thinking I would lose my keys and be locked out of the apartment. After awhile, it occurred to me that if this happened, I could call the locksmith. He had recently changed the lock at the E. Village apartment, when we first moved in, (all the while talking about his bird, a cockatoo which is driving him crazy.) Between the holidays, the city feels empty. This morning, when I stopped at Jacques Torres Chocolate at 350 Hudson, on King Street, for a wicked, a spicy hot chocolate, the space felt cavernous and empty. After a while, customers began trickling in. I am slightly bereft, but know that such is the consequence of ties that bind. My friend, Lady E. was reassuring and observed that these are "old" feelings, i.e. evoking the numerous trips that Big Daughter took, when it was just she and I. Saturday, I invited Lady E. to a belated birthday lunch at Saravannas -I should add the Bhavan to its title - at 26th street and Lexington Avenue. It was a nice treat, following several make-up sessions with clients. After missing Lady E.'s surprise birthday, when Big Daughter was in the E.R., Saravanna's fit the bill. Lady E. loved their chai, and the South Indian thali, an assortment of several, spicy, vegetarian offerings arranged circularly on a metal tray. They are centered around a dish of rice, and some papadum. Of course, we also ordered the Mini Tiffin, with a Masala Dosa and some dips. I liked the feeling of home. Despite a huge number of people waiting, we were welcomed, and seated quickly. It's nice to be a regular. Lady E. was interested to hear that the atmosphere -lively Indian families -reminded me of my childhood in Africa. She remembered going to elementary school in Hong Kong with mostly Indian children. I nibbled on all the desserts, and felt content. During this time of transition, comfort is found in old habits. Yesterday, I found solace in visiting the Duane Reade at 2nd Street and Avenue B to buy Hello Kitty band aids, for little one's next mishap. Every customer looked like a member of that band, The Killers. I'm certain it is the hippest Duane Reade in the entire country, including L.A. Courtesy of Santa, little one received a miniature baking set, replete with miniature cookie cutters, shaped like hearts, crescents, four leaf clovers and circles, a baking sheet and a little rolling pin. She was curious about my method of communicating with Santa, and only partially convinced that I did so via email. We made the peanut butter cookie dough on Friday- since those ingredients were at hand -and then chilled the dough. Yesterday, was the appointed day to roll out the dough, cut the shapes and bake the cookies. They actually turned out well. I used some maple-flavored peanut butter from the The Peanut Butter and Company. They are at 240 Sullivan Street, between Bleecker and West Third, in the West Village. I like to eat their peanut butter plain, sometimes before bed, if I skipped dinner. I had bought a five pack of flavored peanut butters at the recent NYC Chocolate Show. Using the Mighty Maple allowed us to skip the sugar, and the little miniature cookies were not overly sweet. Before baking, we took a little trip to Pearl River Trading, my favorite new emporium at 477 Broadway, below Broome, to get a step-stool. Without it, little one couldn't reach the counter in our minuscule East Village kitchen. As we walked through Chinatown, we made sure to get an iced tea at Egg Custard King II, Mott Street between Canal and Bayard, right below Canal. We find the M9 bus to Chatham Square is our easiest option of travel, if little one resists walking. I was able to restrain her from clamoring for additional purchases, despite her admiration of elaborate fountains and intricate stone Buddhas, as we perused the wares on the second floor at Pearl River Trading. She liked seeing the selection of jewelry boxes, from which I chose Big Daughter's Christmas present. We also stopped at the tea room on the 2nd floor balcony, and smelled the different types of tea, but did not partake. On our return trip, we stopped at Saxelby Cheese at the Essex Market, Delancey and Essex, to pick up some sharp cheddar and maple smoked Gouda. Carrying the stool, the Sunday NY Times, the cheese, and some fruit from Chinatown was slightly challenging, but we were still able to stop for a phone card, so we could call Big Daughter, later in the day.

Sugar lollipops, hot chocolate and cold fingers

At times, Christmas feels like a mirage this holiday season. Since yesterday, I've dodged several unsettling moments. Yesterday morning, an introductory meeting suddenly became aggressive, and slightly hostile. Afterwards, as I bought a hot chocolate at La Colombe d'Or, 319 Church at Lispenard street in Tribeca, an irritable woman, wearing strikingly beautiful rings, glowered at me. As I fumbled for my change, I apologized to the counterman for my cold fingers. The glowering woman loudly stated, "it's not cold out," and I smiled at her. As I walked home from my office tonight, for a brief heart-stopping minute, a young man refused to let me walk by him. In a playful, yet menacing manner, he said "I'm just playing wid you." In each case, I opted for grace, and continued on unscathed. We find the Christmas spirit in the most unlikely places. Last evening, Big Daughter and I visited St. Vincent Hospital's emergency room. She had complained of excruciating pain for a day and a half,  and I insisted it get checked out. We arrived at 5 p.m., and she was discharged at midnight, diagnosed with a kidney infection.  Our time in the E.R. was not bruising nor frightening. It served instead, as an affirmation of human kindness. When Big Daughter was finally admitted to the E.R., it was so crowded, her bed was the third, in a lane that staff would normally walk. As she cried from the pain, I cradled her. Waiting for the doctor, we gazed at the sea of hospital beds surrounding us, each with its unique story. The E.R. staff were efficient, yet overwhelmingly kind and gentle. Despite the pervasive aura of pain and discomfort, there was a sense of community. Everyone was unfailingly polite and considerate. To our right, was a long row of several men of varying ages. One of them was sporting a large black eye. I heard him say ruefully on his cellphone, "I started the fight." The doctor finished her initial exam of Big Daughter, and went off to order tests. Mr. Black Eye called out to me, "Excuse me, do you work in fashion?" Big Daughter momentarily forgot her pain, and said "she looks like Nina Garcia, right? That's what people always say." A few minutes later, the man to his left - who looked like a old revolutionary - said "this reminds me of communist Russia." He caught my eye, and we began laughing together. Later a young resident walking by smiled, and said, "it looks like you all are having a party back there." We were talking to our newest neighbors, a screenwriter and his sweet, loving wife, who had just flown in from L.A. He was unable to eat without pain, and due to travel to Aruba this morning. In that moment, our stories were all the same - we were seeking comfort for those we loved. Young Sir C., Big Daughter's boyfriend, arrived around 8:30 p.m. When they whisked her off for a CAT scan, we joked at our sudden sense of dislocation, and awaited her return. The angry, psychotic man behind us began mumbling "white trash," and the nurse told him to hush. She and I looked at each other and smiled, as we shook our heads. Young Sir C went out to buy snacks. He returned with baby bell cheese, mozzarella sticks and oranges, and a Pepsi. We ended up eating dinner at Veselka's, Second Avenue and 9th street in the East Village, at 1 a.m.. They ordered pierogis, and I had a glass each of seltzer, and homemade apple cider. I ordered Kutya, a Ukranian dish with wheat berries, raisins, honey and poppy seed. It was not too sweet, but very rich in flavor. I couldn't finish it. Next week, our family will eat together, for the first time since our break-up. In the spirit of harmony and friendship, we will join Young Sir C, Carl, and our dear friends, Lady S, and Sir H, and their twins, at Sal Anthony's Lanzas, First Avenue and 10th street in the East Village. Our annual Christmas Eve dinner.  It has been fun to buy the presents that are handed out at dinner. On a recent Monday, little one's school celebrated a religious holiday. We used the opportunity to visit Kiosk, a whimsical store in Soho, 95 Spring Street, between Broadway and Mercer. It's been on my radar screen for awhile. The wind was unstintingly fierce on Lafayette Street, and I suggested we get Chai at Hampton Chutney, on Prince and Lafayette. Little one rebuffed me, and requested a visit to Think Coffee, 248 Mercer street, on the campus of New York University. She likes their Chai Latte, because the barista piles it high with whipped cream, especially for her. For that reason, little one told me, "I love him." She also ordered a surprisingly tasty sandwich of green apple slices and brie, on a baguette. We were adrift in an ocean of college students. I thought of Big Daughter at class at New School. Astoundingly, little one finished the entire sandwich. I complimented her on her good choice. At Kiosk, we were delighted to find balsa gliders, popsicle stick building kits, old-fashioned sugar lollipops and brightly-colored plastic birds from Mexico which tweet, when filled with water. She spied a vintage copy of Twas the Night Before Christmas, and sang the verses, as I paid for the gifts. When we got home, as instructed, little one placed the lollipops in the fridge until Christmas Eve, so they would not melt beforehand.

Sweet milky tea and the impermanence of things

Little one is sick today. Carl called me last night to say she had a 100 degree fever. This morning, on his way to work, he brought her home. Tomorrow is her school Christmas concert. Hopefully she will recover in time to play "Jolly Saint Nicholas," for her piano recital. When Big Daughter would have sick days as a child, I would stress out about the conflicts between work and single motherhood. Eventually, I realized that being home with her allowed us to rest together -outside of scheduled school breaks. The working life, combined with family, can do that. It's been comforting and painful to return to the E. Village apartment. While I love the eternal mystery of crossing Avenue B and entering Tompkins Square Park, I didn't expect to return with a larger family, minus a partner. With the help of several good friends,  Big Daughter emptied her closet at the Tribeca apartment on Tuesday. On my way to help fold clothes, and pack breakables, I had such a knot in my shoulder, I dropped in at Fishion Herb Center, 107 Mott street, between Canal and Hester streets, for a 15 minute shiatsu massage. Last year, I had a weekly massage appointment at Fision with Esther, after Lady C., a former work colleague-now friend, told  me about them. Afterwards, I stopped at Egg Custard King, on Mott street, just below Canal, for an iced milk tea. After two round trips, Big Daughter finished the task. She texted me about treating her friends to dinner. I offered to reimburse her, if they ate "cheap." As part of "moving costs," Carl graciously covered the cost of their meal, Spanish food at a restaurant on Clinton and Avenue B. Little one was with them, and clamored for more "chicharrones," when they arrived home. Yesterday afternoon and evening, Big Daughter did an amazing job organizing her "boutique" closet. She's also been sick since Saturday, but simply soldiers on. Last Sunday, my friend Miss E., and fellow single parent, met me for lunch to catch up on recent events. From Avenue B, we walked west on E. 9th street, until the wind got too strong, and then took the M8 bus to Christopher street, the last stop. We were heading over to Atrium, a tea room on Little  W. 12th street, in the Meat Market. It was closed. I remembered a prolonged wait for our change, during our last visit. As we walked past Pastis, I suggested Jarnac, a tiny french bistro on Washington at 328 West 12th Street, between Greenwich and Washington streets. Last winter, I went there with Carl to try their cassoulet. We walked up the street to look at The Paris Commune, at 99 Bank Street. I like their gingerbread. It was too crowded, so we walked back to Jarnac. The restaurant was cozy, and the tables nestled close together. We sat by the window, between a table of two couples, and a couple with their twenty-something daughter, and her boyfriend. He looked as if he just woke up. A younger version of Adrien Brody. The two couples were animatedly discussing the economic downturn, and their upcoming trip to Chile, not in that order. They had just been to church, and complimented the pastor's sermon, while discussing the worsening crisis to come. I was struck by the impermanence of things. We never leave our families, but perhaps we amend the things we cannot change.  Miss E. ordered a latte, and a breakfast burrito. I seriously considered a tamale. With my erratic appetite,  I opted for the comfort of sliced steak with a potato pancake, and English breakfast tea. The servings were generous, and we both took food home. Despite the tea bag, I appreciated the tiny teapot, and made sure my tea was milky and sweet. It was a late Sunday afternoon, and the chill was not oppressive. Miss E. observed that I was very clear about things.

The demise of the slow cooker and other stories -part 2

Since the demise of the slow cooker, our family has teetered precariously on the edge. Carl and I tried, but failed, to defuse the simmering anger between us. On Sunday, during an interminably rainy day, Big Daughter, little one and I returned to my East Village apartment, where Big Daughter grew up. Now, there are three of us. As the family member who yells, I'd learned, in recent years, to contain this bad habit. Three weeks ago, early on a Monday morning, I found myself yelling again. Not a good thing for the family, nor for me. Despite the gift of several gentle conversations over lunch, dinner and afternoon tea, the family crisis continued unabated. One memorable conversation was with my friend, and former co-worker, Lady C. Over the summer, she'd introduced me to Lovely Lady, a quirky cafe on Elizabeth Street, between Prince and Spring Streets in Nolita. A few Saturdays ago, I found Lovely Lady shuttered and closed, after a recent fire. I wasn't surprised. When I'm in crisis, my little universe usually goes into flux. I see this as a signal of impending change. We found our way to Room 118, a comfortable little bar/restaurant, just around the corner. As we sat at the bar and reviewed my career transition and the family crisis, Lady C. listened quietly. Being a pragmatic person, she was reflective about the many transitions. Exactly one year ago, she and I negotiated an intensely stressful period at my program, prior to her departure. My resignation validated our hard work, and her earlier and difficult departure. Endings can have that effect. Their meanings often emerge much later. As we talked, Lady C. had two beers, and I finished half of a strawberry capirinha prepared with muddled strawberries. Eventually we decided to share crispy deep fried potato croquettes, pork shumai and a very fresh, bracing ceviche. The bar food at Room 118 is excellent, and the bartender was low-key but attentive. The following Monday, Lady M. and I met for lunch at Inoteca, at the corner of Rivington and Stanton Streets on the Lower Eastside. I arrived a few minutes early, and was told by the staff, that the restaurant would open in 15 minutes. It was a stilted welcome. Lady M. confirmed hearing the same thing, when she arrived 5 minutes after me. It was cold that day, and there was no room at the inn. Given the recent economic downturn, we expected to be ushered in enthusiastically. Due to my scrambled state, we opted to have lunch there anyway. I ordered the cheese plate with condiments. Despite my stated dislike of blue cheese, a blue gorgonzala was included. The waitress graciously offered to change it, but it was too late in the meal. Lady M. had a panini and we each drank an Aranciata. I brought home an order of polenta. Lady M. was very balanced as she acknowledged the many negotiations of couples, within the context of family and work. Later that week, I met Lady S., one of my oldest friends, at Podunk, on E. 5th Street, between Second Avenue and Bowery, for tea and conversation. It's easy to talk to Lady S., because she never takes sides. She also has a great sense of humor -even when it seems like Humpty Dumpty is soon to fall off the wall. This can be very helpful, when someone like me is upset. In the middle of our conversation, Big Daughter called. She's been struggling with our family crisis, and had a brief, but necessary meltdown on the phone. Being a mother, partner and an individual can be a bit difficult. Sometimes, I simply hope for a little piece of me. I found that for an hour on Thursday afternoon at Cha An, the East Village Japanese tea room on E. 9th, between Second and Third Avenues. Instead of my usual choice of six appetizers, I opted for the sweets and tea. There were two miniature scones, one tiny green tea macaroon, and a sliver of pound cake -all accompanied by very fresh whipped cream and a little container of berries. Prior to that, I was served two sandwiches on miniature, bagel-like rolls -one with salmon and the other with melted butter and raspberries. I ate the salmon, and a tiny corner of the bread and raspberry. As I bit into it, it was warm and yeasty -but best in the smallest doses. I brought home one scone and the pound cake. Sometimes sweet things make me itch, and that's what happened later on that afternoon. We are no longer a family who eats together. Big Daughter has returned to her favorite E. Village haunts for dinner; 7A and Odessa. Carl met little one and I for breakfast at Chatham Square, our breakfast haunt for dim sum, the other morning. When little one complained of a stomach ache, I was sympathetic. I agreed that it's difficult to eat, when everything changes. After hearing that, little one found her appetite and began eating her sticky rice and shrimp dumplings. I drank my iced tea and Carl said he wasn't hungry.

Moments of reflection and Chaiwalla

Carl made a delicious turkey dinner on Saturday evening. To compliment the roasted turkey, I found two great recipes in this month's Gourmet magazine; one for green beans and the other for roasted yukon potatoes. They were quick and easy to prepare, but most importantly, tasted really good. That morning, I obtained a verbal recipe for homemade cranberry sauce with lemon zest, from a mother at little one's ballet class. Cranberry sauce is actually easy to make. I had the idea it was very time-consuming. My former work colleague, and good friend, Lady C., came bearing her darling new baby Ella, her husband, Sir M., and cupcakes from Cheeks Bakery on Metropolitan Avenue, on the edge of the South side of Williamsburg and Greenpoint. I generally visit Melanie, the baker at Cheeks, at least twice a week to chat. I also bring home good things for breakfast. It was a big treat to be on the receiving end of the vanilla and chocolate cupcakes. Big Daughter was also pleased. She had asked me to bake cupcakes, but I was a bit strapped for time. Early Saturday morning, there was a brief, but unmemorable commotion, when I asked Carl to take little one to ballet, since I had two early-morning clients. He was fixated on slow cooking the turkey, and momentarily flummoxed at the interruption - until he realized that he could run home from ballet, and resume the task. Flexibility is a learned technique, and in our home, a negotiation. By Sunday morning, I was ready to sit back and look out the window during our usual car trip. Since the laundry room at Carl's building is being renovated, as part of an overall building upgrade, I figured we'd drive the laundry over to my old laundromat in the East Village. Carl's building lobby is looking pretty swanky these days. The doormen, who have been in the building for years, are now wearing uniforms. Carl signed his lease in 1974, when Tribeca was a barren, wind-swept desert of few people and many tall buildings. In the early 1980s, I would visit my best friend Lady C., at 175 Franklin. She was right across from what-used-to-be Riverrun, and next to the now-defunct Socrates Diner. I remember squeezing my very pregnant belly into a booth at Socrates, when we met for lunch, just prior to the arrival of Big Daughter. Later, when Big Daughter was an infant, and then an adorable and spunky toddler, I would frequently visit Ms. R, my very first employer. She hired me as an editorial assistant/secretary at Plenum Press on Spring Street, between Varick and Sixth Avenue. Under Ms. R's influence, I learned about Sunday morning brunch at Capsuto Frere's on Desbrosses street. Sitting on the sliver of outside balcony and eating smoked trout, I was taking another kind of Sunday drive. Shopping at Bergdorfs and dinner at the Watts Happen Inn on Watts street, were also courtesy of Ms. R. She introduced me to the Ear Inn, which still holds strong, although I rarely visit. In those days, Tribeca felt like the Wild West, and the Ear Inn it's local saloon. I almost expected the NY version of Billy the Kid to show up. When we went out dancing on Thursday evenings at Area, a nightclub on Hudson Street, we often saw Matt Dillon and Mickey Rourke in the crowd. Back then, they were like urban cowboys. It's only fitting therefore, that Sunday's drive ended up at Chaiwalla, a tea cafe located in Salisbury, Connecticut, which has been a favorite of mine for a long time since Lady C. and I visited Chaiwallas back in the 80s. Could it really have been that long ago? I checked with Elspeth, my dear friend and proprietress of Podunk, a tea room on E. 5th between Second and Bowery. She said it very well may be. Elspeth was a neighbor of Chaiwalla's, once upon a time, before bringing tea to us lucky people in the E. Village and NYC. Lady C. used to know the owners of El Teddys, the Mexican restaurant on W. Broadway at Franklin, that-is-now Tribbles, the home/garden store. That particular trip, she borrowed the car from El Teddy's owner, and off we went. I came back with a beautiful wrought-iron table and two chairs, which Lady C.'s then-fiance graciously hoisted on a rope, through the living-room window of my tiny E. Village apartment. At that time, I also had an extremely elegant trunk and rug belonging to Lady C. Trained as an architect, she had the eye of an interior designer (and was often hired to redo interiors). Memories can be so specific and comforting. Salisbury still feels like it did, that late Saturday afternoon in the late fall, full of smoky light and early autumn chill. As we drove through Kent, Connecticut and along the Housatonic River on Sunday, I thought of life in the 1980s. I was not yet a mother, and very much floating about in the heady days of graffiti art, punk and E. Village and breakfast at Odessa, learning social manners particular to NYC. Prior to Lady C., I had lived with Miss F., a former couture model who provided me entree to NYC hot spots like Area, the Roxy, The World and so on. I was a wide-eyed naif, but smart enough to go along and observe the scene. These days, Big Daughter has access to the hot spots. She's more of a homebody -between college, work and her dog, Gigi (who really likes eating cat food). When Big Daughter jokes about taking me out, I laugh off the invitation. Staying out late is too hard for me, and I can only manage about two sips of alcohol. We didn't drink in the 80s either. Back to the Sunday drive. As we drove out of NYC, and avoided the marathon traffic, I googled directions to The Aldrich Museum of Art in Ridgefield Connecticut. We ended up taking the Tappan Zee bridge up to Katonah and then heading over to Connecticut. Not a memorable ride, but the trip through Kent, Connecticut was all the more spectacular afterwards. The Aldrich is a very modern, open space. One of the current exhibits featured celebrity photographs by the painter Elizabeth Peyton. Her friends were in the pictures - people like Marc Jacobs, for example. I think her paintings are presently at the New Museum in NYC. In the gift shop -always a required stop -little one found two books, and what she called a "lunar module." I bought Colorstrology, a book linking your birthday to your color. I looked up the birthday/colors of different people. Carl's was described as "deep and probing." Big Daughter was described as a hard-worker and being "born for the limelight," and little one was described as "charismatic and jovial but definitely not a pushover." From the Aldrich, we drove east to Chaiwalla, past forests of brilliant acid-washed foliage, and the meandering Housatonic River. Little one was hungry, so we stopped in Kent and got her a snack, but I felt like a fish out of water. It was just a little bit too preppy for my tastes. Salisbury was another 30 minutes of absolutely beautiful scenery. At Chaiwallas we sat by a large bay window in the back, overlooking a sloping lawn with one table and two chairs in the early twilight. Little one and I headed in, while Carl sorted out which part of the paper he wanted. When he entered, the cake plate fell onto the floor, and there was a brief silence before the waiter picked it up. Carl and I shared an Indian spiced tea. Little one started crying when I initially said she must choose between a Chai float (Chai tea with chai ice cream) and cheese toast, saying "but I want it so much." She ended up with two orders of cheese toast (melted Cheddar open face on toast) and ate the ice cream out of the float. As we drank our tea, another glass was dropped on the floor, and the owner laughed as she picked it up. I had just enough cash to cover our afternoon tea break. On these outings, Carl pays for the car and I pay for the day's activities. The sun was setting, and the windows were slightly foggy. The two patrons closest to us were making plans, and across the room, I could hear snippets of poetry being read aloud by different members of a small class. As the day wound up, and dusk approached, the prospect of leaving my program seemed manageable. November 28 is my last day. Although I love the program, it's time to move on. One circle closing, another opening, and still the comfort of Chaiwalla.

The demise of the Slow Cooker and Other Stories

Little one spent the day with me at work yesterday. She was slightly under the weather, and I didn't want to call in sick. It's uncanny how she knows when I need to slow down. Big Daughter used to do that as well, when she was younger. They insist on spending a day, when time begins speeding by in a blur, and I'm also standing at the brink of getting sick. In the mid-afternoon, Carl met us at Podunk at East 5th Street, between Second and Bowery, to collect her, since I had private clients in the evening. As I ordered tea, Elspeth smiled when I chose Lapsong Souchong. She observed that Carl ordered it as well. I see this as a good sign, since he did throw out the Weil Spring Cooker - Yom Kippur and atonement notwithstanding. After Big Daughter brought a sweet little Toy Yorkie home, there was some commotion. Although Big Daughter had been talking about a dog, none of us knew it was imminent. It could have been worse; a baby, wild parties -the list is endless. We got off easy with a dog. Maybe Carl was afraid he would cook the dog in the slow cooker, so I shouldn't mourn. If the dog is staying, what's a slow cooker. My fantasies about preparing an array of soups and stews for fall, all without fuss, is the least of it. I was especially excited make an apple crumble in the slow cooker. Following its violent disposal - supposedly early one Saturday morning- my appetite disappeared. Since then, it's been all about snacks. On Columbus Day, Carl, little one and I grimly headed upstate for a day's drive. Despite feeling a deep sense of exhaustion, fall foliage appealed to me, and the change of pace was important. Prior to leaving the city, I suggested breakfast at Gottino, an organic enoteca/wine bar at 52 Greenwich Street, near Perry Street. My friend Lady E. and I had stopped in Sunday for a late afternoon snack and for the first time in days, I felt some peace. The bowls of walnuts on the bar were a nice touch, and the mid-summer weather created a particular ambiance. A few weeks prior, after a work meeting, I briefly hesitated outside Gottino, but continued walking. On Sunday, my internal GPS pointed us there. The counterman was a friendly young guy, with a lot of positive energy. He enthusiastically, and generously, helped me figure out the right drink for my rattled, post-mortem, slow cooker nerves. After offering me several tastes of his favorite wines, -one too dry, one too acidic-he finally suggested champagne and sour cherry juice. It was perfectly fizzy, and sweet, and a few sips did the trick. When Big Daughter was tiny, I would buy various fruit syrups at the East Village Ukrainian butchers and mix them with seltzer. Here again was that familiar taste, but with a slightly sedating effect. Lady E. and I shared a pumpkin ricotta omelet and chicken sausage with heirloom tomatoes. As we talked over the week's events, the animated sounds of conversation floated in from the small backyard. The counterman verified that Gottino gets "foolishly crowded" on weekday evenings. He handed me the breakfast menu, pointing out a few of his favorites. The next morning as we entered, I chastised Carl for bringing in his deli coffee, as we seated ourselves at the counter. Little one and I opted for the mint tea, which I had Sunday afternoon before leaving. It was wild, strong and sweet. I also ordered fresh-squeezed orange juice, which was served in a small glass flask, accompanied by a small glass of ice. It tasted like just-picked tangerines. For a minute, I imagined a little pensione on the Island of Capri. Little one asked for sunny side eggs, and I ordered several toasts -one with cinnamon and sugar, one roasted apples, one with ricotta and cherries. Carl ordered a grapefruit covered with blackberries, and other kinds of fruit. He couldn't get over the grapefruit, which seemed more like an orange. Little one asked the chef - I think it was Jody Williams herself - about a little green leaf, garnishing her eggs. Ms. Williams, she of gentle manner, and absolute delight in good food, explained it was sage. Little one was handed a piece of sage, and asked to inhale it's aromatic, and earthy aroma. As we were leaving, Ms. Williams remarked to little one that she was thinking about after-school snacks. When she mentioned Funnel cakes, I said adults might like them too, and she smiled. Afterwards we drove into Brooklyn to collect our Lady D., our friend, and occasional caregiver of little one. She lives near Prospect Park, and I was struck by its regal presence on surrounding neighborhoods. Lady D. also wanted to see fall foliage. En route, we stopped at the Alternative Baker in Rosendale. Despite a sign, that advised a closing time of noon, the proprietor was amenable to serving us. With a beret perched jauntily on his head, he seemed slightly out-of-place in quiet Rosendale. After reading several local news articles about the bakery, I learned that the proprietor had lived and worked in Paris, prior to opening the bakery. Lady D. opted for a Belgian Hot Chocolate. Somehow, the girls ended up drinking the hot chocolate, which was sublime. I was appreciative of the proprietor's refusal to prepare a half-order of the Hot Chocolate for little one. He agreed to heat some milk with the left over chocolate, which worked out fine. I ordered a tiny lemon tea cake, and mostly inhaled it. Lady D. and Carl shared a blueberry tea cake, and little one ordered a mini-pizza. Before leaving, Carl checked out the Rosendale Cafe. He explained that it was well-known for featuring musicians from the 1960s and 70s, who fell on difficult times. Afterwards, we drove over to High Falls to say hello to Sean at Blue Cashew, the kitchen/pharmacy we visited last week. Outside of the store, there were three bikers; one man, two women, and their perfectly-groomed Maltese dog, and their motorcycles, eating lunch in front of the Blue Cashew. They advised that the front entrance was closed, and I experienced a brief whiff of menace. We made our way to the side entrance, and said hello to Sean. He suggested that we take a hike around Lake Minnewaska, a large glacier lake about 45 minutes away. When we arrived, the parking lot was pretty crowded, and there were several families hiking an-hour long loop. The setting was beautiful. From many points, the splendor of the Catskills was in full view. As we walked, I still felt a sense of disquiet. Little one noted that it was a long hike. Back in the city, we took Lady D. to Saravannas, our favorite South Indian restaurant on 26th street and Lexington Avenue. Eating Dosas and South Indian sweets, I regained my sense of balance. I decided to take my chai tea to go, and reheat it in the morning.

Practicality and its many pleasures

After a mix-up with my massage appointment at Namaste, a tranquil Yoga and massage studio on Grand Street, right off Havemeyer street in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I was heading back to the office last week, when I spied the Potato Cafe at 254 South 2nd Street, (literally at the corner of Havemeyer). Mr. D., a friend, and former staff member at my program, had recommended the cafe, as we walked to Tipico for lunch on a hot summer day. With the advent of fall temperatures, the idea of a baked potatoes was a comforting alternative to the missed massage. On a whim, I decided to visit. The cafe is a tiny, charming space with several wooden tables and chairs. In the front window, several Mr. Potatohead dolls stand at attention, dressed in varied and colorful garb. There was outside seating, but I preferred the cozy inside vibe. The counter woman was friendly and welcoming, and gave me a warm smile. As I perused the chalkboard menu above the counter, I debated between a healthy potato salad and a baked potato with cheddar and bacon. At her suggestion, I ordered the latter. Several neighborhood regulars wandered in while I was waiting for my order. I was impressed when the counter woman came out front, and gently apologized to one of them, about the lack of a hummus plate. Moments later, the counter man brought my steaming hot, baked potato. It was split in half and covered with melted cheese and bacon. Without burning my tongue, I ate most of the cheese and bacon topping, and a third of the potato -and felt completely satisfied. Near one of the tables, there was a large, unopened box of Idaho potatoes. During tough economic times, one can always turn to the humble potato. This theme of practicality resurfaced when Carl expressed a desire to cook in honor of Rosh Hashanah. Being secular in their Jewishness, his family prefers to celebrate the holidays with friends, after the actual day has passed. In that spirit, and after a particularly grueling meeting at work on Friday afternoon, I decided to purchase a slow cooker for him. It would be an early birthday present, and assist him in cooking brisket. As a rule Carl doesn't like presents. (As confirmation of this, he has already tried to put the slow cooker on the balcony. At least he didn't throw it away). At this point, I would say that Carl needs to atone for his inability to accept gifts, but that's another story. Anyway, buying a slow cooker ended up being a bigger deal than I anticipated. After my meeting, I looked around the Williams Sonoma store on Seventh Ave and 15th street, and then walked to the Broadway Panhandler on West 8th street, between Mercer and Broadway. At Broadway Panhandler, I approached a gruff, yet kindly salesperson, and asked him to show me the slow cookers. There was a choice of two. After a few minutes, I decided on the Weil Spring Pressure Cooker. As we discussed its merits, another sales person told me - unprompted - what a great choice I had made. Later as I paid, the cashier also said I'd made a great choice. He informed me that this pressure cooker was affiliated with Dr. Andrew Weil, the noted health guru. I thought Weil was the Swiss manufacturer. It took some effort to transport the pressure cooker home, but I made it. The next morning, armed with a recipe for Beef Bourguignonne that I found online, Carl, little one and I visited the East Village Ukrainian butcher shop on 2nd Avenue, between 8th and 9th streets, after eating breakfast at Veselka. The butcher showed us a beautiful slab of beef, but refused to slice it into 1 inch pieces. Instead, he instructed us to brown the beef, and then put it into the pressure cooker, with the sauteed vegetables. Carl swallowed slightly at the price, $20/lb, but coughed up the $68.20. Afterwards, he took a minute to look at the rest of the cuts of meat. I was impatient to get home. Little one and I had my acupuncture, and her ballet. During the cab ride home, I pointed out that dinner for 8 computed to $8/per person, and a meal cannot be provided for a penny. Carl started laughing. The day before, I had placed an order for kugel- one potato, one cheese- at the Second Avenue deli at 33rd Street and Second Avenue. I was told that one kugel would feed two people. It actually feeds four, and both were very good. Most people liked the potato. In Tribeca, Carl raced over to the green market to buy vegetables, because he needed to cook the beef bourguignonne for six hours. It was already 10 a.m, and our guests were expected between 6 and 6:30 that evening. It was a race against the clock, but Carl made it. He persevered even when part of the cork fell in the bottle of pinot noir, an important ingredient. Later that evening, our guests pronounced the finished product to be excellent. Carl confessed that "slow cooking" was his favorite way to prepare food. Sunday, we took a day trip to go apple picking, and the theme of practicality continued. Armed with the name of an orchard, and exit 18, from our dear friend, Lady M., we meandered through New Paltz and continued past Mohunk Mountain House. It was a beautiful fall day, and the leaves were in hues of green, gold and rust. Along the way, we found the Blue Cashew, an amazing kitchen/pharmacy store selling items for dining/kitchen/home, just outside of High Falls. I spied silverware in the window and asked Carl to stop. Just before dinner Saturday evening, I found only two forks (and was forced to borrow forks from the neighbor -which are still in our kitchen!). At Blue Cashew, http://www.bluecashew.com/, we purchased some modern-looking, affordable, dishwasher-safe silverware, and six inexpensive simple, elegant drinking glasses. The gracious and friendly owner directed us to an orchard down the road. Somehow we ended up at a quirky, little orchard, which can be found online at http://www.mr.apples.com/. The proprietor, Mr. Philip Apple, had a wry sense of humor. He was reading the paper with classical music in the background. As we paid for our bag, he said "the apples are three miles down the way." When we looked startled, he laughed, and pointed to the many apple trees across the parking lot. As we walked off towards the orchard, he called us back to get a long handled apple picker. Little one was in heaven as we tramped around the wild apple trees, which are not sprayed. We tasted, then picked apples from several different trees. Around us, I overheard families and children giggling and laughing, as they picked apples. Alice in Wonderland gone apple picking in the garden of Eden. Afterwards we drove over to the Village Inn in Krumville, where we met Big Daughter, her boyfriend,Young Sir C, and his parents for a late lunch, along with friends coming in from the city. The friends arrived in style, landing alongside the restaurant in a sleek black helicopter. As the helicopter's propellers whirred, it created strong waves on the nearby lake. For a minute, I felt like crying. The engine's loudness momentarily transported me back to a childhood memory of fleeing Lagos in the midst of the Biafran War, as we were hustled onto an an Air France jet, late at night. The moment passed. We greeted the new arrivals, and settled in for a leisurely lunch on the porch. It was a beautiful, early fall afternoon, and the sun played hide and seek as it darted in and out of the clouds.